Proverbs 18:21) Reads...Life and death are in the POWER OF THE TONGUE and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
In those days the Lord divinely connected me to certain ministers of faith that He wanted me to connect with in the heart. Ministers of faith, hope and love. Ministers whose faith had been tried and tested over and over again and their faith had turned up most often as GOLD refined by the fire of standing on the promises of God no matter what and no matter the opposition. The main ministers that the Lord hooked my ears and my heart up with in those days were Brother Kenneth & Gloria Copeland, Jerry Savelle and Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin. This was not a one on one connection, nor a face to face connection (Yet). It was an inclining my heart unto their sayings connection. The Lord, knowing how desperately I needed Him and knowing what my heart and soul was thirsting for, crying out for, He connected my heart to their teachings by a divine connection. One of which I will some day share how it all came about but not in this present print.
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After that divine connection had been made, I began to listen intently to these teachers of Gods word with a soul craving hunger for answers to my personal desperate situation. You see as a young son of a preacher man (YEARS BEFORE THOSE DAYS) I had entered into a state of oppression and depression that for nearly three, to three and a half years no matter what I tried I was not able to shed it. It stuck to me like with chains, schackles and weights. Its weight was so heavy. Its dry was so dry. Day after day that depression was so heavy that it eventually squeezed every drop of the delicious joy that I grew up having as a child completely out of me. The results, my inner sweet was turned into an awful bitter in my upper teenage years. The delicious joy I had since as long as I could remember in my childhood had vanished as if taking from me by force and I could not for the life of me in those days understand why and how come. I cried over and over again to God in private as a young man, Lord why? Why has my inner world changed so much? Where did all the joy go? What have I done that was so bad as to deserve this? Why is this taste so miserable tasting? Folks God as my witness, How often I thought and said to Him how I wish this not on anyone else. It was so awful and so soul bitter tasting that I knew not to many would survive its crushing weight. I almost didn't.
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After days and weeks in this gloom and after those days had turned into months, then to over a year with no end in sight, and after my night pillow was drenched with my tossing and turning about and with the rivers of my tears that I cried so often as a young teenage man in private,(being to proud to overly expose my inner pain), one day came when all I wanted was to be left alone that day. No visitors. I didn't even want to see family visitors for that matter. That is how this particular days taste was. It was awful turned up and bitter more multiplied. I was experiencing some of depressions worse and merciless afflictions. A measure of it that has probably driven many over the cliff into full hopelessness to where they do the unthinkable. But I knew I could not let that happen. I knew someway there had to exist a way out of this. I felt Jesus the Word was the answer but some how I was missing something that was needed in my connection to Him to fix my grief. But that day, oh that wondrous day that I will never forget for the rest of my eternity God was going to start His Special in my life, pouring it on me to the road to my recovery by His grace. That which I experienced that day did not heal me instantly. It did not automatically remove my storm clouds. But it was an implanting whose seeds God would water by those ministers above that I had mention earlier.
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As I was in my room that day, still in the high school years. I was surely feeling the blues. God knows how awful the taste of that day was for me. Like I said, it was so depressing, so awful tasting on the inside that I didn't want one visitor. The TV series Jesus of Nazareth was being played on television in those days on one of the three channels and all I wanted was to be left alone until that movie came on that night so that I could watch Jesus. I even prayed, Oh God I hope no one comes to see me today. Please God can I just be left alone, please. Well friends sometimes, in the present warfare the devil is not going to let you off the hook of his game so easily. Especially if you have given place to him into your life. If heaven you have blocked because of your sins or ignorance, then your prayers can be hindered. That means the one Jesus called the thief can roam more unhindered against you(John 10:10). And its even worse if your one that he maintains in his scopes.(Read Ephesians 4:30, Ephesians 4:26-27, Ephesians 6:10-18, 2 Timothy 2:22-26, 1 Peter 3:4-10.
Well despite my desire to be left alone, later on that day the door bell rang and 2 friends of mine came to see ol deno. (Yea Yalahoolahoo ). Course as usual I was trying to put on a surface visage of, you know, teenage man hood strongness, but the depression affliction of that day was just to much. My friends entered with me into my room and after I closed the door one of them said, Hows it going deno? And just as I had said SO OFTEN BEFORE, most of the time away from the crowds, it seemed I just couldn't help myself and I just came out with it and said it with vigor and conviction, I said, Well the truth of the matter is Im frustrated and deeply depressed. THEN IT HAPPENED.
Friends what Im about to share with all of you (Which is just a part of my testimony), as God is my witness, IT HAPPENED. Right after I said those words it like thundered in my room. What I mean by that is, words were loudly spoken and I do mean loud, but they came from an unseen source. To my left and up like towards the ceiling level or a little higher, I could not see Him only hear Him. I heard these three words shouted at me in the tone of like a loving father would his son in deep concern for his welfare and safe keeping and as if trying to teach him something important. It was so loud it shook me. Those words were, "WATCH YOUR TONGUE". I nearly fainted in fright.
My friends new something had occurred and one of them said, Deno, man you ok? Well in this startle I replied, Did you hear that? He said hear what? You mean you two did not hear that? It was so loud to me I thought everyone in the house would have heard it. No they said. What did you hear? Well I didn't tell them. I kept it to myself and get this, in my spiritual simplicity I honestly did not understand what the Lord was trying to tell me. WATCH YOUR TONGUE? What does that mean? Go to a mirror, stick your tongue out and look at it? What did I say that was so bad? All I said was that I was frustrated and deeply depressed. I did not say a cuss word or as our mom use to call them, Vulgar Words.
Not knowing the difference between a cuss word and a CURSE WORD I failed at that hour to make the needful wisdom connection and because I failed at that time to understand, the enemy of our peace really flopped me back and forth on the wrestling mat in the arena that my ignorance had built and my blindness had given him place to. It would be two more painful years before the rivers of my healing would be manifested. So much I want to tell you and so I will as The Lord permits and time as well......more to come....stay tuned....deno.....please share freely
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